1. BBQ's in March are ALWAYS a bad idea
2. BBQ's in March that have had the benefit of artificial accelerant to overcome 'the dampness in the air' are ALWAYS best left to burn themselves out.
3. Empty vessels make most noise. Except if you attempt to move a towering inferno of a BBQ away from parked cars which ALWAYS results in burnt fingers. As does using a burning log for an improvised karaoke microphone
4. 4 x bottles of 9% Belgium Blonde ALWAYS gets you more drunk that 9 x bottles of 4% Becks. Fact. It is I tell you.
5. Despite outward appearances of hipness and cooldom, ad agency staff are ALWAYS the most boring and self-centred organisms on the planet.
6. Familiarity breeds contempt. As do ad agency staff. Still, at least they ALWAYS pick up the bill to make you like them. For a few minutes.
7. Although a watched pot ALWAYS boils if you give it long enough, a watched Inbox doesn't always yield fruit.
8. He who fails to study the past is ALWAYS doomed to repeat it. The trick is to make it sumptuous beyond description.
9. Getting to 8 on a list and running out of inspiration ALWAYS leads to feelings of frustration. Like when all there is left to drink in the office is fizz.
10. Yellow photocopier paper is not luminous. But its ALWAYS better than nothing when you've left your bike lights at home. Time to hit the road